This story may be archived by the Cascade Library.

Author's note: This is just a bit of G-rated fluff in celebration of the release of "Master and Commander - The Far Side of the World". I really hope they do O'Brian's books justice!

Who's Maturin?

By Helen W.

Detective Jim Ellison's New Year's resolution was to be more of a people person. And part of that meant letting his buddy, roommate, and personal Boswell, Blair Sandburg, know he thought a lot of him. So, mixing apprehension, affection, and resolve, he chose his moment carefully.

"You know, Chief, I think of you as being a lot like Stephen Maturin," he said as casually as he could manage, between sips of PD coffee one morning.

"What!"

Blair didn't sound happy, but Jim figured that that might just be part of the 'sharing' script. "You know, you're smart, and brave, and, uh, short."

Okay, maybe this wasn't going well.

"Maturin? Who's Maturin? Me? And I suppose that makes you Jack Aubrey."

"Well, as a matter of fact. . ."

"The side kick. Great. I'm the side kick."

"Stephen Maturin is much more than Jack's sidekick. Come on, Chief, you've read more of the books than I have!"

"Just drop it, Jim," said Blair.

"I mean..."

Both men started a bit as Jim's supervisor, Capt. Simon Banks, interrupted their exchange. "Both of you, in my office!"

With a glare, Blair followed him into Simon's glassed-in private area.

"So, Jim, what's this I just heard? You're comparing Blair with Maturin?"

"Uh..."

"Blair," asked Simon, "how many languages do you speak?"

"Just English and high school French. But I can order beer in 20 languages."

"Wonderful. And, do you play any instruments?"

"The kazoo."

"Very clever. And, Jim, how many languages do you speak?"

"I've functioned in both Spanish and Quechua, of course. And I can get around Chinatown."

"And instruments?"

"Piano lessons."

"Great," said Simon. "Maybe, just maybe, if I combined both of you I could get half a Maturin, albeit one with good eyesight. Dismissed."

"Uh, Captain?" asked Jim. "If we're Maturin, who's Aubrey?"

Simon leaned back in his chair and bit the end off of a cigar. "THAT should be obvious, gentlemen," he said.

* * * THE END * * *

Author's note: Chances are, dear reader, you've stumbled across this story because you are searching the web for fanfic based on "Master and Commander" after seeing the movie. If you haven't read any of Patrick O'Brian's books yet, I urge you to go do so. Now. You might even consider skipping the first two books of the series and starting with "HMS Surprise".

If you've already read the series, or, like me, you don't do print anymore, or if you are really in the mood for fanfic, I recommend looking around for more stories featuring characters and locations originated in the long-cancelled UPN series "The Sentinel". Some of it has the feel of O'Brian's work, and some of it is quite wonderful.

Oh, and if you find any really good fanfic based on "Master and Commander," drop me a line!

* * * * * *

All feedback welcomed, negative particularly! helenw@murphnet.org.