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This is Part 11 of my Summer of 1999 series and will not make much sense on its own (though I hope it looks purdy!)
Just Like a Baby Bird
by Helen W.
When a mama bird is trying to teach a baby to fly, what does she
do? She kicks him out of the
nest. And it works. There’s no processing. Just a shove and that’s it.
If you’d just given me a kick in the pants, I would have done okay
down in Colorado. But without you
believing in what going on, well, of course I was going to fail.
Hey Blair,
Date: Thurs., July 22, 1999
Time: 10 - 10:10 a.m.
Conf. w/ Jim E. – What the hell?
Action
item(s): Confirm reservation w/ USAir; call Joan re: switching weekends with Daryl.
What
have I gotten myself into? I can’t
believe that Jim thinks that going back to visit the Air Force in Colorado
behind Sandburg’s back is a good idea.
And I can’t believe I just agreed to go with him.
Things
have been going so smoothly these past couple of weeks, too! Jim’s been effective – focused, but
relaxed – and the kid has seemed upbeat.
Gah, 7
a.m. flight tomorrow. What the
hell was I thinking? But how could I have said no? Could tell it was taking a lot for him to come to me. Damn flattering, actually.
Seeing as you're occupied this weekend, I thought I'd hop back down to Colorado Springs, see what's up with our friends there.
Jim DITCHED me?
“Yeah, go see Margaret, have a great weekend, say hi for me,” and now
he’s ditched me? Shit.
Turns
out Simon's always wanted to see the Rockies, visit the Air Force Academy, so
he's tagging along.
But he took Simon?
Time: 1:15 – 1:30 p.m.
Looked over notes on that whole space slug disposal thing last
month.
Action
item(s): See
whether I can figure out what the NID did with that thing.
Time: 1:15 – 1:40 p.m.
Looked over notes on the times I’ve had to deal w/ Jim in
‘Sentinel’ mode sans Blair.
Action
item(s): Pray.
At
least, with Jim set on going public, I don’t have to write around the
‘Sentinel’ thing anymore.
Must
be pretty bad, whatever he’s expecting, to want hand-holding, and from his boss
of all people. Not sure whether I
should be deeply honored or scared out of my wits.
Okay, I’m going to take Simon being out there with Jim
as a good thing.
Going-on-four
years of managing Jim since he went Sentinel, and this is all I have? I think it’s 90% the kid, I really do.
Time: 1:40 – 1:45 p.m. – Conf.
w/ Jim (yeah, again).
Told Jim that if there’s something he’s trying to hide from
Sandburg it’s the last thing he should keep from the kid. Jim took it like I thought he would,
but it had to be said. Won’t push
any more.
If I thought I needed Blair, I’d be doing this with
Blair! I’m not an idiot.
Don’t press me on this. I know what I’m doing.
Simon's got a load of ‘use it or lose it’ built up, so
the timing’s perfect.
Liar.
Time: 5:40 – 5:50 p.m. –
Talked to Joan
Daryl will be officially with her this weekend, with me next.
I say
‘officially’ because it’s summer and Daryl’s seventeen. So he sleeps where he
wants. But the last thing we need
is for him to have an empty place all to himself without Joan or me knowing
what’s up. Wouldn’t stay empty
long!
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Date: Fri., July 23, 1999
Time: 6:47 a.m.
About to board. I
hate Jim.
Jim
looks like he’s heading to a firing squad. Still won’t tell me what’s up, or what he and Sandburg did
when they were in Colorado Springs, or even whether it’s related to that
slug. “Ular,” Jim calls it. My best detective names slugs.
Time: 8:20 a.m.
Re: the Carlton case – has the step-grandmother been interviewed
since we found the paint stains?
Action
item(s): Call
Rafe during the layover.
I’d
like to bounce this off of Jim, but I think I’d get better conversation from
the safety pamphlet.
I can do this.
It’ll be cake. I’ll know
what to expect this time.
Time: 11 a.m. (Mountain)
Called Rafe. He and
Jim already talked to the grandmother.
Dead end.
“Hey Jim,
about the Carlton case.”
“The… the…
Yeah. What about it?”
“Never
mind.”
Time: 1 p.m.
Landing, finally.
Action
item(s): I
wish I knew.
So
this is my telephone buddy, ‘Col. Jack O’Neill.’ He and Jim seem friendly enough. Is he looking around for Sandburg?
“This
time, Jim ran away from him.”
Can’t
tell whether O’Neill is pleased or not; Jim’s pissed at my synopsis, but I’m
here, aren’t I?
Time: 2:20 p.m.
In a mountain (!) filling out forms, by hand. Lots and lots of forms.
Action
item(s): Introduce
these guys to the concept of e-forms.
Should
I be wondering why nobody’s asking what I’m doing here?
Don’t
worry, if things get rough, Simon won’t ever be more than a phone call away.
Should I have put that in?
Don’t you remember last time? In what reality is freaking out for an
hour while they try to track down Simon fun?
Time: 3 p.m.
Okay, I guess we’re about to start whatever Jim came here to do.
This
Dr. Pan seems a bit nervous around Jim, maybe a little guilty. Same for Dr. Frazier.
What,
Jim dragged me here to watch Air Force quacks hypnotize him? Jim doesn’t really seem like the type
you could…
Well,
I was wrong about that! Wouldn’t
this have come in handy a time or three.
I
wonder if Blair knows how easy Jim is to put under.
Okay…
so the Air Force wants Jim to channel, what, past lives? And this was what he was doing here
last month?
Sure,
why the hell not?
Of the
three of us, Sandburg’s the one who was weirded out by this?
No, Pepe!
Don’t!
Like Simon would have any idea what to do if you wig!!
Okay,
this is getting freaky.
“Jim,
calm down, buddy, and answer the nice man’s questions so we can go get
ourselves a couple of 20 oz. steaks for dinner.”
Knew
that would do it.
Right.
Simon’s here. Right.
Gotta do this. “I’m fine. Let’s keep going.”
Time: 5:30 p.m.
Done for the day, heading to dinner, then checking into the
Hilton.
“I still
haven’t figured out what we’re doing here.”
“You haven’t guessed?”
“What do
you know that could possibly be useful to the Air Force?”
“It’s not about what I know. I’m proving I can do this.”
“Why?”
“It’s big, Simon. You must have some inkling how
big. And I completely screwed up
the last time I was here.”
“I can’t
believe that.”
“It’s true. But
my head was in the wrong place.”
“Because
of Sandburg?”
“Yeah. Partly,
at least.”
Huh.
There’s
just some things you can’t leave hanging, you know?
Who are you trying to prove something to, Jim? Me?
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Date: Saturday, July 24, 1999
Time: 8:30 a.m.
Back into the mountain.
And
here we go again.
Or your old buddy, Jack O’Neill? Is proving you’re a tough guy to him
worth your sanity?
Honestly,
this isn’t that bad. After all the
shit Jim’s put me through the past couple of years, having to occasionally
shake him a little or remind him of the here-and-now is nothing.
O’Neill
and his people seem pleased too.
And Jim’s a completely different guy than yesterday heading in
here. Relaxed, smiling, joking a little.
I almost think I could sneak out for a few hours of
sight-seeing. But Blair would kill
me.
Time: 5 p.m.
Tex-Mex tonight, then early to bed. A few more hours in the mountain tomorrow, then an afternoon
flight home.
“So
things were different last time?”
“Yeah.”
“But you
knew it would be better without Sandburg?”
“Yeah. I knew
you wouldn’t let me get away with shit.”
“If I had
a nickel for every time you’ve gotten away…”
“No, hear me out, Simon. It’s like… Carolyn was always going on
about all these reasons she saw for the ‘glass ceiling,’ and one was that when
things get rough women don’t get a kick in the pants, they get told it’s all
right to drop out of grad school, or not go for the promotion if they fail the
exam the first time, or whatever.”
“Because
nobody has faith in them? Jim,
nobody has more faith in you than Sandburg.”
“No – because nobody wants to see
them hurt. I mean, it’s like with
baby birds. Their mama’s got to
push them out of the nest.”
“So that
makes you, what, a baby bird? Jim,
your analogies need some work.”
“More like, like a raw recruit then.”
“I
haven’t had to do any drill sargenting here. Think I’d’ve noticed that.”
“Anyway, it’s worked.
I’ve convinced them I’m not a head case.”
“Spending
hours delving into your past lives doesn’t make you a head case?”
“Not by local standards.”
Has
what we’ve been doing here lost me Jim?
Is this all some sort of job interview? Would Jim pull me along for THAT?
Yeah,
if it got him some goal, sure he would.
Or do you really think O’Neill and his friends were
telling the truth? That Ular and
Seth were the front force of some sort of alien invasion?
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Date: Sunday, July 25, 1999
Time: 8:30 a.m.
Checking out and heading back to the mountain.
Same
old, same old. But now everyone’s
best friends, even that geeky guy with the ball-point who keeps sticking his
head in.
Time: 11 a.m.
Waiting area, while Jim talks to O’Neill and his boss in private.
Let’s
see, we’ve got ‘Physics Today,’ ‘Scientific American,’ and ‘Utne Reader.’ What kind of a military base are they
running here?
Time: 2 p.m.
Waiting to board; non-stop this leg.
Jim’s
practically bouncing; this can’t be good.
Anyway,
with any luck I’ll beat you home and you’ll never see this.
Too late for that!
-
J
Time: 6:47 p.m.
Home sweet home!
Action
item(s): Have
Rhonda start screening resumes.
And
change my will to have ‘chump’ added to my tombstone.
“Hey.”
“Hey. How was
Margaret?”
“Fine. She
says hi. Wondered how we were
getting along, after this past spring, and told her, ‘never better.’”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
“I’d have gone – I mean, I know I said I wouldn’t, but if
you’d called my bluff…”
“Didn’t need you.
Simon was bored out of his mind.”
“Tell me he didn’t really spend the weekend
sight-seeing.”
“He could have.”
“So - now what?”
“I’m going back next month and we’re discussing employment.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“You can, ya know, live here as long
as you want. I’m not moving to
Colorado Springs, at least not right away.”
“You – man, I thought you were ditching me before, but
this is…”
“Or you can talk to O’Neill yourself
and see if you want to get more involved.
It’s up to you. But give me
a break and do it for yourself, not me, okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I think that depending on
you – dependency just doesn’t look good on me.”
Well, shit.
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* THE END * * *
All feedback welcomed, negative particularly! helenw@murphnet.org or comment in my LiveJournal.
Special thanks to Snycock and especially Skye for comments on an earlier verions.